How I Succeeded

I am currently having a hard time managing my health. I've been sedentary all winter, and I am noticing it. If you want to succeed at home, you must look after your health. The first thing is to drink lots of water. In fact, health gurus say that drinking at least two bottles of water a day can reduce the risk of disease.

I was doing well this winter until recently when I stopped drinking water and started to drink more coffee. It is also important to eat vegetables. It is amazing how many work at home professionals stop eating properly.

Some days I need to force myself to eat well. It is so easy to pop something into the microwave and get back to work. This is short sighted. I have two friends who started into work at home businesses about the same time I did. Both of them have needed to quit because of health problems. We all worked the same hours, and endured the same stress. The difference was simple, I did not take my health for-granted.





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Friday Workshop: Branding Yourself - Become Famous

We are doing a few major workshops for Small Press Month. We are hosting one of our biggest workshops this week.

Place: www.inspiredauthor.com (click the chat-room button at the top of the page.
Time: 7 - 9 eastern (come when you can)
Membership: none needed - just enter your screen name and enter


Katie Adams

Katie Adams is a highly successful grant writer. In fact, she obtained over $12 million in grants for her clients in only 3 months! She can help you learn how to get free publicity, money to promote your writing, and much more! If you want to become famous overnight, then be at the Inspired Authors chat on Friday night.

Katie has offered to host a 2 hour workshop to help authors promote themselves and their work, build winning PR campaigns, and launch their careers. Have your questions ready! She is also looking for cream of the crop writers for her new business venture. Don’t miss this once in a lifetime chance.

Authors must be well known even before releasing their first book. This takes a “presence” that is only accomplished by proactive marketing. If you miss this one, you will regret it.






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Free Author Promotion Workshop: Three Famous Speakers

Free Author Promotion Workshop: Three Famous Speakers

We had a great chat on promotion last night. There were a lot of things covered, and we had the author of one of the top SELLING BOOKS book on Amazon (3 days on Amazon and in the top 50 000). Nikki gave us some excellent tips and advice.

We also explained the difference between promotion by spamming your name, and promotion by Branding.

After 2 hours, there were still questions, so I decided to devote tonight's chat on 'becoming famous' without spending money.

I have invited a PR person, Katherine Adams who works with businesses and CEOs. She is writing a book on landing six figure jobs. If she comes, she can tell us more about 'branding' yourself. She won her clients 12million last year - so she is no 'small fish' when it comes to PR.

Mirella Patzer will tell how she became a popular speaker and was invited to speak (paid) in Italy, the setting of her book - all within less than 2 months.

Nikki Leigh will be there. Her current book on promotion has only been on amazon for 3 days and is in the top 50 000 (out of 3 million) selling books.

We also have Lori Chance, a book coach, and a few other tentative speakers.

I am also saving transcripts. So if you were one of the people who felt you just didn't know that you 'could' become famous without a lot of hassle - and you wanted to know more - come to the IA chat tonight.

http://www.inspiredauthor.com/ - Click Chat. You do not need to become a member.

Chat is Every Friday 7PM Eastern

Tonight's event will have the chat room at www.inspiredauthor.com open from 6 - 9+ You do not need to become a member, or enter any personal information. Just type in a screen name and you are in the chat.

Can Failure Help You Succeed?

Most millionaires failed once or twice before they finally hit on something that works. Not all programs will work for all small business owners. In fact, one person's scam is another person's ticket to wealth.

In the business world, there is only one way to fail - quit. Everything else is part of the learning curve and a stage in the Pardagim of Success.



How Successful Entrepreneurs Handle Failure

There are many differences that separate the winners in business and life from those who are struggling and falling by the wayside.

One big difference is how they handle failure. Successful entrepreneurs have a positive mindset around the experience of failure.

When they fail, they look at it as a result. They took "x" steps and produced "y" result. "Y" didn't work, so it's back to the drawing board to change the formula and try again.

Many new business owners don't make it out of the gate because as soon as they fail, they figure, "Who am I kidding? I knew it wouldn't work" and then quit!

If everyone had that mindset, we wouldn't have electricity, airplanes, vaccines ... actually, we'd have pretty much nothing!

Every single success in this world was preceded by one, two -- a thousand failures!

Babe Ruth set a record for the most home runs. Did you know he also had the record for the most strikeouts?

Thomas Edison failed more than a thousand times before he perfected the light bulb.

If you're not failing, you're not pushing yourself enough. You are remaining in your comfort zone and cannot expect to reach the level of success you're capable of.

Failure is what allows you to learn and grow. If you quit as soon as you meet with failure, you will always remain exactly where you are.

Albert Einstein once said, "You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it."

And, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."

What these statements teach is, in order to overcome failure, you must think differently and act differently. It is what separates the ordinary from the extraordinary!

You might have to seek out guidance from someone else who can offer the expertise you need. You may need to inject new perspectives and talent by forming a team around your project.

Fear of failure is one of the biggest obstacles that hold new business owners back. Failure should not be feared, but embraced because a life lived in fear is a life half lived.

If you're stuck and unable to move forward because of fear of failure or because you have failed in your previous attempt, bring someone else into the mix to offer support and guidance.

Tweak your plan and give it another go.

Engrave the words of the following masters into your mind and never, EVER give up.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein

He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat. - Napoleon I

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert Schuller

2006 © Laurie Hayes - The HBB Source


Laurie Hayes, founder of The HBB Source, and creator of The Complete 12-Step Guide To Starting A Home-Based Business, helps entrepreneurs build loyal client relationships and attract more quality referrals. Get her free ezine packed with helpful resources at http://www.hbbsourcecards.com








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Single Mother - Sole Money Earner

There is very little help for older single mothers. We are expected to have it all together. Everyone assumes that our successful husbands are paying us alimony and child support. In fact, I wish I had $1 for every time someone asked me why I was working. The truth is, my ex did not live up to his responsibility. And, in some cases, it is not 'safe' to take the ex to court.

I remember a show called Grace Under Fire, about a mother who was completely on her own with three children. She had no life, and no hope of a life. Everything she did revolved around paying bills and putting food on the table.

The important thing to remember is that you are not alone. There are groups on the Internet to find knowledge and support.

Working Wounded: Fatigue and the Working Mom


More and more women are entering the workforce and most of them are moms. Working Mothers are among the most vulnerable to stress and excessive fatigue created by trying to balance between work, family and social life. Stress and anxiety can cause working mom's to be tired and lacking in energy. There are a lot of things vying for her attention: co-workers, the boss, the kids, the husband, the best friend, dealing with their in-laws, her church activities, and even her bible study group friends. It's enough to make a mom feel so drowsy, lethargic or listlessness.

More than half of new moms in the U.S are working outside the home out of necessity. Another segment of the working mothers are those who are returning to work six to 12 weeks after giving birth. According to medical studies, women who come back to work after child birth may still exhibit symptoms of postpartum depression including muscle fatigue, discomfort, decreased sexual activity, and lower back pain.

AN INVENTORY OF THE THINGS THAT MAKES A MOM MORE FATIGUE:

1. Lack of sleep- either overworked or you are not really sleeping well from too much worrying
2. Inactivity-You're out of shape and its not true when you exercise too much. Engaging in moderate physical activity for half-hour most days of th week may give good moods, decrease stress, and gets you energized.
3. Not eating properly-not getting the right essential foods or drinking enough fluids it needs. Also try to limit your caffeine intake us this will only backfires, it will make it harder for you to rest and fall asleep.
4. Stress and anxiety-Too may task so little time. This will keep you on the edge and you won't be so relax.
5. Certain medications- like antihistamines and beta blockers, some pain relievers and other stimulants that can keep you up at night.

TIPS FOR WORKING MOMS

l Know how to delegate task
l Organize everything your schedule, your things, your activities
l Make sure you truly love your job, avoid workplace stress or any job related aggravation.
l Tame your inbox, get rid of unwanted mail
l Make a To -do-list
l Make used of your calendar, jot down the important events and stick to it
l Put labels to your things when you sort them out, filed or put into filing cabinets
l Stay active- a few minutes walking , or cycling will give you more stamina. But be moderate when you do some physical activities.
l Cultivate good sleeping habits-avoid reading, eating while watching in front of t.v. while in bed. Keep your bedding clean and comfortable, keep your room in a dark and quiet atmosphere. If possibles take naps every now and then.

If you are still feeling weary often and for a prolonged time. It is best to consult a qualified doctor so you can get proper diagnosis. Your fatigue could have medical causes such as:

l Depression- usually associated also for excessive fatigue and accompanied by some symptoms liked loss of appetite, sadness, difficulty sleeping or oversleeping among others.
l Cancer- A thorough checkup can tell if your fatigue can be a symptom of cancer.
l Sleep apnea- loud snoring is a sign of this disorder. This is a common source of fatigue because it interferes with your sleep.
l Chronic Fatigue syndrome-a disorder characterized by extreme fatigue even if there is bed rest.
l Anemia-blood disorder it affects your blood's ability to transport oxygen.
l Thyroid problems- a condition in which your thyroid gland fails to release enough thyroid hormone.

As a working mom, you must make some lifestyle changes or get the necessary treatment for your fatigue.



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Success Starts With The Image in the Mirror

Most home based business owners do not think of their image before they start business. I agree with the PJ story in the following examples - I also know that people who work this way accomplish less in their first 2 years than those who treat their home based business as if it were an office or retail biz.

All business owners must create a PR campaign to 'brand' themselves. Step one: start with your image of yourself.


Are You Packaging Yourself Professionally As A Home Business Owner?

We all have our own tastes, styles and preferences when it comes to how we dress, style our hair, even what we drive, and one of the great things about running a business from the comfort of home is that we can be exactly who we are with no need to impress anyone.

Like you, I have personal preferences. I love the fact that I can work in my PJ's during the early hours of the day while I coach overseas clients, and comfortable gym clothes or shorts and a T-shirt during the day.

It's great that working from home gives us this freedom to dress as we choose, but it's also important to recognize that this is where it stays - at home.

When you're out in the community or meeting with clients or prospects, put your personal preferences aside and shift your thinking to image management.

Whether it's fair or not, image is critical. How someone perceives you is going to determine whether or not they will do business with you.

Psychologists have learned that most people will form an impression of you in the first four minutes and that 80 percent of that impression is based on nonverbal data.

What you say has very little impact compared to your visual appearance.

Just like changing packaging for a product can mean the difference between boom or bust, the same can be applied to your physical packaging.

When I met my accountant for the first time, I was stunned. He came out of his office in his socks, his shirt was hanging out of his pants and he had no tie. His hair was disheveled and he looked like he had just wrestled a bear.

The first thing that may come to mind is he was having an afternoon cavort with his assistant, but he had a glass window on one side of his office and several support staff surrounding his workspace, so I gathered this was his customary work attire.

Most of what he said to me traveled in one ear and out the other because I was too busy trying to tame the battle going on in my head ...

"If he cares that little about his appearance and is that sloppy in his own business, why would he be any different with my finances?"

"Laurie, your colleague recommended him and said he did good work, that's got to count for something."

This internal battle dominated our meeting and I left with a pit in my stomach.

In the months that followed, I stayed on top of him like a wild dog on a slab of meat. I didn't trust his judgment or quality of work. I watched every entry he made like a hawk and double-checked everything he did.

I eventually brought the relationship to an end and transferred my business to another accountant.

Maybe it was shallow and terribly unfair, but the fact remains - appearance does have a major impact on business relationships.

I couldn't get past my first impression or the subsequent impressions as I continued to visit his office, and if I didn't call and ask for something, or put a deadline on it, I don't know if it would have been done.

His poor professional image translated to substandard performance and unfortunately, the two are often connected, and that's where our perceptions and judgments come into play.

An eternal truth in business is, you will succeed based on what is, not on what it should be.

Physical appearance and its impact on business success has been tested and measured and you can try it out for yourself to demonstrate.

One day, dress casual for meeting prospects and arrive in your aging pick-up truck. The next day, wear a business suit and complement it with accessories like a good quality pen, briefcase and your newer model car.

You'll notice a remarkable difference in the results you produce.

You'll also notice that you're treated with more respect, courtesy and receive much better service and response than you are when dressed in your "at home" business clothes.

The importance of personal packaging is a fact of business life. It may seem unfair or superficial, but the fact remains - to resist, deny or ignore it would be disastrous to your success.

Take a few moments to reflect on how you're presenting yourself to the world. Is there room for improvement? If so, make a change and test it. I'm certain you'll be impressed by the results.

2006 © Laurie Hayes - The HBB Source
Laurie Hayes is the expert and visionary behind "The HBB Confidential," a FREE bi-weekly ezine for home-based business owners. Each issue delivers simple strategies you can use right away to build a profitable home business while creating fun and freedom in your life! Go to http://www.thehbbsource.com to subscribe.






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Learn IT Skills Online

Not all work at home jobs need to be small business or writing based. There are some excellent jobs available on a contract basis in the Internet Technology industry. But, you still need to land the job. There are tools out there to help professionals land their contract, or a work at home job.

ITCOOKBOOK.com is one tool that helps professionals by offering interview questions for C, C#, Network engineering, and other information technology skill sets. The objective is to improve the chances of landing a job in information technology field by reading interview questions from their books.

Equity Press has books that cover C, C#, Java, cobol, .NET, SQL, and Python. By reading C# interview questions a professional can keep themselves up to date with the current demands of the job, and become so well versed in the interview process that they sail through the interview process in a relaxed, confident manner.

What Is A Certified Life Coach?

It is possible that, while searching for a personal life coach, you came across an advertisement or two with someone claiming to be a "certified life coach". Many who claim to be a certified life coach end up charging more money than non-certified life coaches. With that in mind, is it worth paying the extra money to hire a certified life coach? In many ways it is, although it might not come up in your situation. Before understanding if it's worth it or not, you must understand what a life coach certificate means.

It is possible, though not advisable, to start up a professional life coach business without being a certified life coach. All it really takes is getting people to hire you as a life coach, either via the internet or from seeing an advertisement in the newspaper. Once you do that, you are a professional life coach. However, a certified life coach has special training. It takes a lot of work to know what to say in different situations and to know how to help a person get past things in their lives that are holding them back. A life coach institute will offer training that can help a person be prepared for any number of experiences that someone who simply "proclaimed" themselves a life coach simply doesn't have. With that said, you can see that it would be a good idea to make sure that you hire a certified life coach rather than a non-certified life coach.

After the dust clears, training is what separates a certified life coach from someone without a life coach certificate. Going to a life coach institute allows a person to get over a year of training and experience that they simply wouldn't get otherwise. So, if you're looking to hire a personal life coach, it's worth it to pay the extra money for an expert.


After listening to Terri Cadiente's radio show about Los Angeles life coaching insights, Liz Quillnan was motivated to finally take action and achieve strength with grace in her life. Terri offers many services such as a Los Angeles personal development program, leadership training, and even can provide a strong message as a Southern California motivational speaker.




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Five Types of Goals - Part 2 - What Will Define Your Success!

There are five types of goals that must be understood and attempted to master, in order for an individual to be able to claim true success. In the article, the "Five Types of Goals (Part 1)", the first two types of goals were given and explained. These two types are Financial Goals and Business Goals. The following is the explanation of the remaining three goals:

Personal Goals:
These are the goals that keep us alive. Many people associate these goals as being the "Kick the Bucket" type goals. That is when you make a list of goals entitled "50 things I want to do before I die" (example). Many people if not most people have at one time or another made a similar type list. And most people that have made a list like that have not, nor will ever accomplish everything on those lists. That is an absolute shame! Truly successful individuals will not let a personal goal go unaccomplished.

Now, there are two things wrong with a list entitled "50 things I want to do before I die". #1- No man is guaranteed another day. #2- in the list title it stipulates the phrase "I want to do".
How about making a list of goals entitled "50 things that I am Going To Do this year"! Then perhaps another list, 50 things that I am going to do next year; or this month, or in my lifetime, etc... Make as many lists as you want. Your goals on this list will help you see what type of person you are. Your goals on this list may also help you figure out how to set your Financial Goals (you may need some serious money) and your Business Goals (you may need a flexible business). Just do something great for yourself: Accomplish These Goals!

Personal Goals can be anything that you want to accomplish personally. Do you want to find a spouse? Make it a goal! Do you want to backpack through Italy? Make it a goal! How about finish your college education, or take your kids on a trip to Disney World, or go scuba diving in a sunken ship of the coast of a Caribbean Island? Make it a Goal! You get the gist! Just make sure any goal you make, you accomplish.

Personal Goals can also be intermixed with your other goals. For instance: it is a personal goal of mine to create success in as many people as possibly can (I even set numbers for this goal). This is a personal goal; but it is also a business goal; as the accomplishment of my goal will benefit both my personal goals, and my business goals.

Another intermixing might be if you really want to go on vacation to Las Vegas. And, you also want to show your appreciation to your employees for a job well done. Make it a business trip and "kill two birds with one stone" (Business trips can be tax deductible as well).

A charitable goal may also be considered a personal goal. "I want to give $100,000.00 dollars to a needy and worthy cause this year"! That would be a great personal goal. Personal goals are usually those that make you feel good.

Asset Goals:

These are the goals referred to as "stuff"! Make a list of stuff that you wish to acquire as you accomplish your goals. Things like a house on the pacific coast; a 70 foot Yacht, or a vacation house in Hawaii. If those seem too big to start: how about setting some asset goals on things you can achieve quickly: A new deck for your house; a Jacuzzi on that deck; or maybe a new car; or kitchen remodel. Whatever the case, have something to work towards. What good is having money if you don't spend it on anything?

Spiritual Goals:

Whatever religion you may be; whatever you believe in; spiritual goals are an important aspect to anyone's success. I could write a book on spiritual goals (I will keep this short), but it all boils down to the individual and what it is that they believe and how they act on their beliefs.

Over 80 percent of the CEO's to fortune 500 companies attend church on a regular basis. Faith is a part of their success. 80 Percent! There has got to be something to that, right! Well there is.
Your spiritual goals can include anything from research and deciding on spiritual beliefs, to researching and growing in faith in your already decide spiritual belief. As an example: My spiritual goal is not only to grow in my faith, but also read the whole bible, cover-to-cover, by April of next year. I have set the goal and am taking steps to accomplish my goal.

Spiritual goals add a level of enlightenment to uncontrollable and daunting questions. Having spiritual beliefs can greatly add to your success, understanding, and happiness; but is of course not an absolute requirement (recommended though).

Conclusion:

In conclusion, your goals will be what define your success. Your willingness to strive and accomplish your goals in all five of these goal types, will determine how successful you will be. A successful man sets the bar high and strives to fly ten feet over the top of that bar. An unsuccessful man will set the bar low, and try not to look up as he walks under the bar.
To those lottery winners out there who claim to be successful, I say to you "Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn some of the time"!
Here's to your success!
Jeremy Alexander is a successful Entrepreneur and Instructor in the business of helping other entrepreneurs achieve their own personal and financial success. Whether at home working with his clients, or on the road speaking at conferences and classrooms; Jeremy is dedicated to the fundamental philosophy: "Success can not be earned without first creating success in others". To find out more about why Success is his passion checkout his website at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com or for some more tips on how to be successful checkout his free Blog at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com/MyBlog



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The Five Types of Goals - Part 1 - The Start of Reason, Is Not Realistic!

Many people equate success with money, power, and fame. In actuality a truly successful person is much more than that; or at least should be. In order to achieve success you must first set out to do so. One of the most important steps to your achievement is setting goals that you can work towards and conquer. A person of great success will have set and have mastered, or strived to master goals in the following five types of goals.

Financial Goals:

Perhaps the most common type of goal! Everyone wants to be wealthy. Your financial goals will determine how wealthy. In designing your financial goals you have to decide how much money that you want to make per month, per year, per ten years, and so on. You can make goals that deal with investments (how much do you want to make out of your investments) and the segmenting of your business (how much money do you want to make from different segments of your business), etc...

You want to try and keep your goals within reason but not within reality. When people claim to be realistic they are usually just setting a low bar for themselves and are cutting down their potential. Let me give you an example:

A reasonable man might set goals like, "I am going to make $500, 000.00 this year. And next year I want to make $1,000,000.00. The year after that I want to double what I have made". Those would be reasonable goals. If you think that those goals can never be accomplished then I would submit to you that you are trying to be to realistic, and are thereby missing a greater, bigger picture.

A realistic man sets goals like, "I am going to make $80,000.00 this year (maybe). Next year I am going to ask my boss for a raise and start making $120,000.00. Then I will invest more in my 401K, and try to make good investments to increase my profit". Now if all of that is your goal; well, they are not bad goals. But they are short fall goals. You can do better. A lot better! You just need to start thinking beyond your reality, and step into the reality of a successful entrepreneur.

Now an unreasonable man might set goals that defy all logic and reason. These goals might sound like, "I am going to make 1,000,000,000.00 this next year and quadruple that next year". That is an unreasonable goal, because although technically doable, it is almost impossible to make that kind of money unless you have already established substantial wealth. So yes that may be doable for Donald Trump (even for him that might be a stretch) or Bill Gates (not such a stretch), but probably not doable for someone just starting out on their financial goals.

Keep in mind, that in this great country, millionaires are made (by their own ambition) every day. Set your bar high, because that bar can be reached. And, you will reach that bar if you are determined, and prove yourself to be worthy in reaching it. Just don't set the bar so high that you need a space ship to reach it.

Business Goals:

Business goals are the goals that will make you the money for your financial goals. Business goals can also inspire greatness in you and in those around you. You have to determine what type of business do you want to own (I recommend owning your own business for the greatest profitability). Perhaps you don't want to own a business. You are not the entrepreneurial type. No problems; then you just need to set a goal on which company you would like to work for, and how far you want to go within that company (not so recommended, but still fine if that is what "floats your boat").

Business goals can also include investments. What type of investments; and how many do you want? You should also plan and set a goal for where you want your business to go. Perhaps you want to branch out and create several businesses. Maybe set a goal for how many employees you would like to have. How many business partners you might have; so on and so forth. All of this would be included in your business goals.

So far we have covered the two types of goals that are usually associated with success; Financial Goals, and Business Goals. But what about the three other types of goals? Those three other types are equally as important to your success. You can not be truly successful without an understanding and desire to master all of the five types of goals.

Jeremy Alexander is a successful Entrepreneur and Instructor in the business of helping other entrepreneurs achieve their own personal and financial success. Whether at home working with his clients, or on the road speaking at conferences and classrooms; Jeremy is dedicated to the fundamental philosophy: "Success can not be earned without first creating success in others".

To find out more about why Success is his passion checkout his website at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com or for some more tips on how to be successful checkout his free Blog at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com/MyBlog



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Ethical Blogging

I know that I've beaten this topic to death, but I really don't understand why everyone is still enamoured with Google. I remember when I made my living from Google, but slowly my page rank climbs on dominant sites will millions of hits - and my income dwindles.

We have always tolerated Google ads beside, in, around - and now on our screens. Why do we have such a problem with paid blogging? We didn't complain when advertisers started hijacking our blog posts and putting little green links in the content - even though we get only a fraction of the income.

I have one post which has an above average click through rate on a CPC worth $250. However, I have never made more than $3.00 on that click - despite having a PR4...which Google promises me should earn at least 20%. So - why are we afraid of PO'ng Google?



"Ethical Paid Per Post Blogging"

Comment: Talina said...

I am having a hard time accepting that the passing of page rank through paid links is ethical... What do you think?

This is a huge deal to me as many of my visitors find me via Google search and Google is wiping out the page rank for bloggers who post paid links and do not include nofollow (which designates to Google that the link was paid for).

Do you know of any companies that pay you to blog and also allow you to use nofollow as Google states you must?



REPLY” Gracepub said:

I do a lot of Internet marketing. I have more than 10 000 links to one of my sites.

I've heard that Google is wiping out links for blogs with paid posts - so. (google has always been a gossip mill. I haven't really seen a difference) I get far more hits from my inbound links and social networking than I ever get from Google. The ratio is close to 10:2

Also if I may highlight a finer point of Internet marketing? Google also pays me for the right to put THEIR links on my blog. What is the difference?

The thing that is more ethical about paid posting over Google is that I pick and choose what posts appear on my blog with paid posts. However, Google does not give me the right to limit advertisers - so I have no right to refuse an advertiser who earns their income by unethical means.

Will it bother me if Google refuses my Adsense account? No. I make almost no money from Google because they have become so greedy. At one time, I would have happily catered to them alone. But now, I have CPCs worth over $250 and Google pays me $.45 on a PR4 site! Why should I give up an income generating venue that pays me more than $4000 a year for $.45?

Also, one aspect of Internet marketing that most people forget ... Google is the one the created the paid post system by teaching Internet marketers to write a ‘keyword heavy’ article and then told the bloggers to put their ad IN the post at the bottom.

Last, Google created the link-back ranking system. They are not interested in hits, visitors, new content, members on feeds, or anything that gives me an advantage over people with a million dollars to invest in Internet Marketing.



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Yaffe’s Law Vs. Murphy’s Law: a New Look at an Old Problem

For most educated persons, Murphy’s Law is the fundamental law of the universe, even more important than birth, death and gravity.

In its purest form, Murphy’s Law says: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” There is an important but often neglected corollary: “Many things that can't go wrong, will go wrong anyhow.”

I am now pleased to report a loophole. In at least one important area of human activity - expository (non-fiction) writing and public speaking - Murphy’s Law does not have total coverage. This is because it can be counteracted, at least partially, by a rival principle that I recently discovered and immodestly call Yaffe’s Law

Yaffe’s Law states: “If you give people what they want first, they are likely to accept anything else you want them to have. If you give them what you want first, chances are they won’t accept anything at all.”

In short, in a text or a speech if you quickly and securely engage the audience’s interest, any significant missteps later on will be muted, if not completely counteracted.

There is of course nothing new in this idea. It is just another way of saying that for best effect, you should write or speak starting from your audience’s point of view. Nevertheless, Yaffe’s Law is revolutionary because its new formulation focuses attention on this fundamental principle of persuasive communication as never before.

Applying the principle implies that you know the audience’s point of view. If you are inclined to think this is virtually impossible because point of view can change so very much from subject to subject and audience to audience, you would be making a serious mistake.

In most cases, readers or listeners share a single overriding concern: Will this text or presentation sufficiently reflect my interests and apprehensions that I should pay any attention to it? They want this question answered virtually instantaneously; otherwise they will stop reading or stop listening.

In short, your first job, even before deciding what you want say, is to determine what your audience wants to hear. In other words, give them what they want first, i.e. a positive answer to this universal question. If you then continue positively answering it, your audience will follow you almost anywhere.

Here are a couple of examples to demonstrate how the idea works.

A Written Example

Below, the “Original” shows a text as it might have been written without Yaffe’s Law. The “Revision” shows how it actually was written with Yaffe’s Law.

Original

A piece of electronic equipment installed in automobiles could allow insurance companies to monitor the driving behavior of their customers.

Each time a motorist uses the car, the device will record the roads being traveled and the time of the journey, and send the information via satellite to the insurance company.

With this data, the company will be able to calculate the insurance premium for each individual journey based on the relative risk of crashes on the different roads at different times of the day. The motorist will receive a monthly or quarterly “usage statement”, similar to a telephone bill, itemizing the insurance cost for each use of the car.

By agreeing to the system, motorists could save hundreds of dollars on their automobile insurance.

Because of the lower risk of crashes, trips on superhighways will cost less per kilometer than on city roads, while trips on country roads will also cost less per kilometer than on city roads because . . . . (the text continues)

Revision

Motorists could save hundreds of dollars on their automobile insurance by allowing their driving habits be monitored by a satellite-tracking device installed in the vehicle.

Each time a motorist uses the car, the device will record the roads being traveled and the time of the journey, and send the information to the insurance company.

The company will then calculate the insurance premium based on an assessment of the relative risk of crashes on the different roads at different times of the day. Motorists will receive a monthly or quarterly “usage statement”, similar to a telephone bill, giving the insurance cost for each journey.

Because of the lower risk of crashes, trips on superhighways will cost less per kilometer than on city roads, while trips on country roads will also cost less per kilometer than on city roads because . . . . (the text continues)

The “Original” was clearly written from the point of view of the insurance industry. However, simply moving the fourth paragraph of the “Original” to the first paragraph of the “Revision” charges everything. Who wouldn’t want to know how to save hundreds of dollars on their automobile insurance?

By giving the readers what they want first, a text that might have been of interest only to “techno-nerds” suddenly becomes interesting to virtually everyone. Moreover, even if the rest of the text is not superbly written, people will probably continue reading anyhow, because it is in their interest to do so.

A Spoken Example

With regard to Yaffe’s Law, the written word and the spoken word are exactly the same. Nevertheless, speaking allows use of techniques that simply would not work on the printed page.

The following speech was delivered on the subject of integrity in politics. Once again, the Original” shows how it might have been written without Yaffe’s Law. The “Revision” shows how it actually was written with Yaffe’s Law.

Original

I want to talk to you this evening about a man I admire very much. His name is Julius Nyerere and he was the first president of Tanzania after it gained independence from Britain in 1961.

Julius Nyerere was born in 1922 in Butiama, a small village in what was then Tanganyika. He was the son of Nyerere Burito, a Zanaki tribal chief. At that time schools in Tanganyika were in very short supply. Julius began attending Government Primary School at the age of 12, which he completed in three years instead of the standard four. He did equally well in secondary school and won a scholarship to Makerere University in Uganda, then the only university in all of East Africa.

When he returned to Tanganyika, he worked for three years as a secondary school teacher of biology and English before winning a scholarship to attend the University of Edinburgh, where he obtained a Masters of Arts Degree in history and economics. This is also where he began developing the ideas and tactics that ultimately helped him lead Tanganyika to independence from Britain and become the country’s first president. Unlike many other independence movements, Nyerere achieved independence without a single drop of blood being shed. (The speech continues)

Revision

We live in a cynical world where the values of truth, honesty and integrity seem to be in short supply. We are therefore always looking for examples of such values in action, especially with regard to politicians.

I would like to offer you such an example from Africa. You have probably never heard of this man, but for me he stands as a true model of integrity. Can you guess who he might be? (Speaker pauses a few moments). No, it is not Nelson Mandela, as I imagine many of you were thinking. However, I am certain Mr. Mandela would be more than pleased to be considered in the same light as this person.

His name is Julius Nyerere. Julius Nyerere was the man who led then Tanganyika, today called Tanzania, to independence from Britain in 1961. Unlike many other independence movements, this one succeeded without a single drop of blood being shed.

I had the privilege of living two years in Tanzania shortly after independence. Being a city boy, for me Tanzania was quite a revelation. I virtually lived in a mud hut, suffered through a drought, saw leprosy, and experienced both malaria and dysentery. All of these things affected me. But getting to know Julius Nyerere as a political leader was truly a life-changing experience.

When Nyerere became head of state, he was so popular that he could easily have taken on the trappings of a king or potentate. But he did exactly the opposite. He chose to live very modestly, because that was his nature.

More importantly, he inspired confidence in everyone, and never betrayed that confidence, because that also was his nature. He of course had political enemies, but they were critical of certain of his ideas and policies—but never the man. The worst I ever heard anyone say about him was, “President Nyerere is doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons.” (The speech continues)

At this point the speaker could insert all the information about Nyerere’s background and education, which seemed so tedious in the “Original”. Why? Because instead of tedious, the audience would now find it instructive and integral to understanding the man in whom their interest has been effectively ignited.

So does Yaffe’s Law pardon poor writing and poor speaking? Absolutely not!

Poor writing is still poor writing, and poor speaking is still poor speaking, so you must constantly be alert not to fall into bad habits.

On the other hand, by strongly focussing your attention on giving the audience what they want first, when you start giving them what you want, it will be in a context that appeals to their most basic instincts. This, of course, is what persuasive communication is really all about.

Philip Yaffe is a former reporter/feature writer with The Wall Street Journal and a marketing communication consultant. He currently teaches a course in good writing and good speaking in Brussels, Belgium. His recently published book In the “I” of the Storm: the Simple Secrets of Writing & Speaking (Almost) like a Professional is available from Story Publishers in Ghent, Belgium (storypublishers.be) and Amazon (amazon.com).

For further information, contact:

Philip Yaffe
61, avenue des Noisetiers
B-1170 Brussels, Belgium
Tel : 32 (0)2 660 0405



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Prosperity Tool - The Stickman Concept

One of the most powerful ideas I've ever encountered is The Stickman Concept. After attending literally more than one hundred seminars on success with little improvement in our results, seeing the Stickman Concept demonstrated helped us finally triple our income in just a few months. It has been the greatest tool for understanding principles of prosperity that I've ever experienced.

A little history first: so the story goes, it was first developed by Dr. Thurman Fleet in the 1930's. I learned it from my friend and mentor, Bob Proctor in 2000 and have since been certified by his company to teach it. I bet you're wondering now, "So, what IS it?"

It is a visual representation of how our mind works, and it succinctly demonstrates how it's true that "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." If you want to enjoy more prosperity than ever before, it's something you really need to see, and it's available for free.

It gives you a visual image of some of the most abstract but fundamental principles of success... something you can see... something that helps you change your life. It changed mine.

How can a simple drawing make that much of a difference? Why does it work so well? Let me explain it this way...

Suppose I give you a simple math problem, and I verbally say:

"What is the sum of sixty one million, seven hundred fifty-five and ten thousand twenty-three?"
Maybe you'd think, "I know that's an easy problem, but I can't really do anything with it until I simplify it with symbols and see it on paper."

So you get a pencil and put this down:
61,000,755
+ 10,023

It's the same problem; but don't you just feel differently about it when it looks simple? How we feel about something has a whole lot to do with how well we do.

So now, how long have you been studying success principles? How many seminars have you been to? How many self-help books have you read, and how many audios have you listened to? How many articles have you read?

Perhaps you've bought into the notion that the concepts are supposedly simple, and they do make sense, but just like reading or listening to a long, drawn-out arithmetic problem, your mind may tend to go into overload to the point that you are unable to get the job done.

The principles of success are simple, but there's a lot of verbiage going on, isn't there? For me, prosperity was elusive so long as I couldn't simultaneously wrap my brain around ALL of the countless tidbits of advice I had received in the one-hundred (plus) seminars I attended.

So, what if I could show you a visual, symbolic representation of how to succeed, so that implementing everything you've been learning becomes dramatically more simple than ever? (At no charge, of course.) I could describe it in this article, but that's just more verbiage . . . and it would be quite a bit of it at that. You know, "draw a circle at the top of your paper, and then a line coming down to the blah, blah, blah . . . yadda, yadda, yadda . . ."

Verbiage

The visual presentation of the Stickman Concept makes success simple. It makes prosperity reachable. It gives you something to "see" in your head when you are trying to change old thought habits, and gives you a visual tool to understand what's happening when you're facing challenges, setbacks, frustrations, and fears. Furthermore, it helps you know just what to do when that happens. Watch the no-charge Stickman Video and see what I mean. It's time to prosper!

About the Author: A contributor to multiple Chicken Soup for the Soul books, Leslie Householder is the award-winning two-time best-selling author of "The Jackrabbit Factor" and "Hidden Treasures." She is the co-founder of http://www.PrinciplesofProsperity.com a site dedicated to helping people gain more family time and money freedom through the little-known but critically fundamental principles of prosperity. Trevan and Leslie Householder are the parents of seven children.


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These Prosperity "Laws" Aren't Working!

Here's a question that came to me recently that's worth discussing:

"Since discovering the law of attraction and feeling elated, it seems that our finances have gone down the tubes. I have not been able to pay bills on time, money is taking longer than usual to come in, we have bounced checks, etc. I know right now I am dwelling on the negative, but wondered why this is happening just at the time that I feel I have discovered the answer?
My reply: When you've got some big changes that you're aiming toward, this kind of thing happens and tests your commitment to what you're after. From here until the end of your days, your increased prosperity will not come as a result of what happens to you, but how you handle the circumstances you face.

The Supply is unlimited. All things come from Original Substance and nature is abundant. Prosperity abounds! So if we experience lack, it is not because there is lack . . . there is only abundance. In this very moment, you have all you need. It is when we think ahead to future needs that we look at our limited supply and worry that it won't last. (Future meaning 5 minutes from now or 50 years from now, the principle is the same.)

In this moment, we can be grateful.

We have the air we need to breathe, a heart that pumps oxygen to all of our limbs, stores of energy to keep our heart pumping . . . yes, in this moment we should be calm and grateful that God has supplied us with everything we need here and now. No matter what anticipated troubles may come tomorrow, in this very moment, God has provided abundantly. To worry is to resist a situation that hasn't even happened yet. As you may have heard elsewhere, that which we resist, persists. Consider Mark Twain's comment, "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

When we worry, we cut off our mind to possible solutions. Prosperity becomes elusive and hidden. We must relax, hope, expect, and look for the solution which, by law, must exist. Every problem has a solution, by universal law . . . or it could not be called a "problem."

Challenges are healthy for us, because they enable us to stretch our limits and grow. We can pause and be grateful for the challenge, because it turns our thoughts toward God. Anything that does that is truly a blessing, for we are promised that as we draw nearer to Him in our heart, He will in turn draw nearer to us.

Let me share a segment from another powerful book that takes a Christian approach to the law of attraction:

[The statement] 'Man's extremity is God's opportunity' is true, for when man reaches his limit, he hopelessly stops his efforts. When he relaxes from his strain, the Law has a chance to reply to his desires, and things begin to change for him . . .

The mind is like a sponge. We squeeze it hard with our anxious thoughts, but not until we can release the pressure and allow the sponge to take its normal shape can it become absorbent and receptive again. (Working with the Law, p 82-83, Raymond Holliwell)

Finally, an understanding of the seven laws is imperative when things don't appear to be going the way you expected. The whole objective is to think right when things go wrong . . . because if you do, you can be sure that success is yours and will soon enough be reflected in reality. Feeling gratitude now, no matter what is going on in your life, is the quickest way to flip the switch and prepare your mind for answers. Learn more at PrinciplesofProsperity.com.

About the Author: A contributor to multiple Chicken Soup for the Soul books, Leslie Householder is the award-winning two-time best-selling author of "The Jackrabbit Factor" and "Hidden Treasures." She is the co-founder of http://www.PrinciplesofProsperity.com a site dedicated to helping people gain more family time and money freedom through the little-known but critically fundamental principles of prosperity. Trevan and Leslie Householder are the parents of seven children.


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Prosperity Tip - For Working Mothers Who Struggle With Guilt

All I wanted was to be "Mom." So when circumstances forced me into the workplace, I was devastated and determined to find a way to develop an income that would allow me to stay at home with the kids. With this objective in mind, I spent many, many hours "working" toward my dream while the neighbor moms baked cookies. In truth, that's what I wished I could be doing instead, but I had to build a future for our family so that I could look forward to a day when Mom AND Dad could enjoy family time and money freedom together. Eventually, my husband moved into a career that made a respectable income that provided for us well, but there was never enough time on the side for him to build a future outside of the J-O-B. I had to do something.


Did I ever feel guilty about doing more than Beverly Cleaver used to do? Yeah, sometimes. I grew up with traditional values and a desire to pass them along. I wanted to be the domestic goddess with a perfectly clean home and perfectly behaved children, nourished three times daily with perfectly balanced meals. But something inside me drove me to do other things, too. I felt guilty about that, until I stumbled onto a certain Proverb that helped me feel better. It is the definition of a "virtuous woman" and goes like this:


"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She ariseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. . . She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle . . . She maketh herself coverings of tapestry . . . She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant... She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her . . ."


A virtuous woman sounds busy doing many, many things, including working for financial gain. This verse helped me feel better about burning the midnight oil now and then to make my own contribution to our family.


Still, even now, every monetary goal I set is always for the primary purpose of being free to focus on raising my children the way I want, which is for the purpose of helping them enjoy fulfilling, happy lives as adults, which is for the purpose of me coming to the end of my life pleased with the contribution I made while I was here.


Every goal I set will fit into the big picture of true prosperity somehow. If it doesn't, then I know that I will NOT be passionate enough about it to make it happen. To achieve lofty goals requires passion, and my family is my driving purpose for all I do.


Setting a goal to own a Rolls Royce will have no power for me, because it makes no contribution to the driving purpose for my life. Is a Rolls bad? No, it's beautiful! But I know myself well enough to know that it isn't something I'd go through the refiner's fire for.


Family time and money freedom, on the other hand, is something worth fighting for.


About the Author: A contributor to multiple Chicken Soup for the Soul books, Leslie Householder is the award-winning two-time best-selling author of "The Jackrabbit Factor" and "Hidden Treasures." She is the co-founder of http://www.principlesofprosperity.com/ a site dedicated to helping people gain more family time and money freedom through the little-known but critically fundamental principles of prosperity. Leslie is a wife and mother of seven children.



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Prosperity Tip - For Working Mothers Who Struggle With Guilt

All I wanted was to be "Mom." So when circumstances forced me into the workplace, I was devastated and determined to find a way to develop an income that would allow me to stay at home with the kids. With this objective in mind, I spent many, many hours "working" toward my dream while the neighbor moms baked cookies. In truth, that's what I wished I could be doing instead, but I had to build a future for our family so that I could look forward to a day when Mom AND Dad could enjoy family time and money freedom together. Eventually, my husband moved into a career that made a respectable income that provided for us well, but there was never enough time on the side for him to build a future outside of the J-O-B. I had to do something.

Did I ever feel guilty about doing more than Beverly Cleaver used to do? Yeah, sometimes. I grew up with traditional values and a desire to pass them along. I wanted to be the domestic goddess with a perfectly clean home and perfectly behaved children, nourished three times daily with perfectly balanced meals. But something inside me drove me to do other things, too. I felt guilty about that, until I stumbled onto a certain Proverb that helped me feel better. It is the definition of a "virtuous woman" and goes like this:

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She ariseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. . . She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle . . . She maketh herself coverings of tapestry . . . She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant... She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her . . ."

A virtuous woman sounds busy doing many, many things, including working for financial gain. This verse helped me feel better about burning the midnight oil now and then to make my own contribution to our family.

Still, even now, every monetary goal I set is always for the primary purpose of being free to focus on raising my children the way I want, which is for the purpose of helping them enjoy fulfilling, happy lives as adults, which is for the purpose of me coming to the end of my life pleased with the contribution I made while I was here.

Every goal I set will fit into the big picture of true prosperity somehow. If it doesn't, then I know that I will NOT be passionate enough about it to make it happen. To achieve lofty goals requires passion, and my family is my driving purpose for all I do.

Setting a goal to own a Rolls Royce will have no power for me, because it makes no contribution to the driving purpose for my life. Is a Rolls bad? No, it's beautiful! But I know myself well enough to know that it isn't something I'd go through the refiner's fire for.

Family time and money freedom, on the other hand, is something worth fighting for.

About the Author: A contributor to multiple Chicken Soup for the Soul books, Leslie Householder is the award-winning two-time best-selling author of "The Jackrabbit Factor" and "Hidden Treasures." She is the co-founder of http://www.PrinciplesofProsperity.com a site dedicated to helping people gain more family time and money freedom through the little-known but critically fundamental principles of prosperity. Leslie is a wife and mother of seven children.

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Unusual Traits Of Highly Successful People!

We've all heard about the successful people of this world. We've heard of people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobbs, Richard Branson and so on.

We have also heard what it takes to be successful like these people. We heard you have to save, you have to start your own business, you have to own properties, you have to be prudent with your finances and so on.

While all these are true (they are time tested), there are other traits that I've noticed about many successful people. They are traits people don't notice. They are traits people don't talk about. Traits that make them succeed where many others have failed.

I'm going to share those traits with you today. Make sure you learn from them and more importantly act on them.

Trait One: Successful People Are Always Learning

I was at a seminar not too long ago and I was seated beside a fine gentleman. After the seminar, I gathered he was a multi millionaire that specializes in importing goods from China. I know a lot of people will wonder why someone who is worth over hundred million dollars will be doing in a seminar.

The truth is that most successful people are permanent learners. They always want to learn new things that will give them new ideas as well as new insights into how things are done.

Trait Two: Successful People Always Ask Questions

I've never met any successful person that claims to know it all yet I've met many average people who claim to be experts on all issues on the face of this planet.

Most successful people ask questions about many things. They don't pretend to know it all. In fact, they don't attempt to know it all. That is why they surround themselves with attorneys, accountants and so on.

Trait Three: Successful People Desire More Success

I've met many people that say they will stop working or stop trying to achieve things once they make a million dollars. Most successful people don't think like that. They are always looking for new challenges.

I bet we've all heard of poeple who sold their companies for millions and then start a new business from scratch. That is the spirit and that is why they seem to be forever successful.
I stongly believe these little tricks can help all of us move towards our dreams of becoming extremely successful. Let us make use of them.

We Can All Succeed!

Akin Alabi

Become An Incredibly Magnetic Person Who's Loved, Desired And Admired Everywhere FAST. Visit http://www.ConversationMaster.com For Details


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What is Success? The Definition, Interpretation, and Advice on How to Achieve Success

Do you want to be successful? Do you even know what that means? Success today is measured by many individual standards, and never by any one uniformed standard. Many times an individual doesn't even know what success looks like until that individual achieves some level of success. And even then the measure of success for Johnny might be a million dollars and a house in the Hampton's; where as the measure of success for Jimmy is a wife, two kids, a dog named Scruffy, and a house in a cul-de-sac. So who is to tell you or I just what success is; and for that matter how to achieve success?

Well, first let's look at the definition of success, and then we will go on from there. The Encarta Dictionary: English (North American Version) explains success as follows:
Success - suc-cess (noun) The achievement of intention; the achievement of something planned or attempted.

By that definition anything that we set out to do and accomplish is success. So if I set out to go and pick up the trash in my yard and I accomplish that task; I by definition am successful, right! Perhaps by definition, yes; but by modern standards and interpretations; I would not be considered a successful man for performing such a menial task.

The modern day, and Americanized version of the definition of success (by interpretation) usually means: The achievement of something not easily achieved. By our modern day standard I may not be considered successful unless I have gained wealth, power, or have achieved notoriety and fame. These are some of the factors by which we gage success.

I would submit that a true concise definition of success could never be formulated. Why? Because everyone seems to have their own version of the definition, as well they should. I may not consider myself successful unless I have a yacht, a house on the lake, a million dollars and a riding lawn mower. Your definition of success might be more expansive or even simpler. You may not consider yourself a success unless you have a house in the suburbs, a working car, a good job, and a loving family.

Whatever your personal definition of success; there is usually one common denominator. Happiness! What creates happiness for you? I would suggest that if you are truly happy in life, then you are successful. Without happiness you can't have success.

So how do you achieve success? You start by figuring out exactly what makes you happy. Figure out what you want in life; what will make this life a fabulous life for you. Then you go get it. That's it! You figure out a way to get it, and you do.

In this great country, everyone has an equal shot at achieving success. As long as you are willing to do what it takes to achieve success; you have the opportunity to do so. Success is achieved by the strong in mind.

So, here's to your success; I wish you the best!

(For more information on ways to achieve success check out my last article "The Definition of Entrepreneur...". You can also check out my websites below, and stay tuned for future articles on this subject.)

Jeremy Alexander is a successful Entrepreneur and Instructor in the business of helping other entrepreneurs achieve their own personal and financial success. Whether at home working with his clients, or on the road speaking at conferences and classrooms; Jeremy is dedicated to the fundamental philosophy: "Success can not be earned without first creating success in others".

To find out more about why Success is his passion checkout his website at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com , or for some more tips on how to be successful checkout his free Blog at http://www.secretsofwealthandprosperity.com/MyBlog



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TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

Living in our world today can be very stressful. While some of the stress that we experience is actually useful for motivating us, a point can be reached where it becomes very harmful, physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Knowing how to manage and even reduce the harmful effects of stress on a daily basis, of staying balanced and centered as we encounter the many stressors of everyday living, is crucial to our well being. Among other things, taking care of ourselves will necessarily involve us nurturing our physical body, of eating healthy foods, of exercising. Learning how to take care of ourselves in this respect is also very important for everyone as our experience of stress can and does affect others as well.

Learning how to take care of ourselves also involves making appropriate distinctions about ourselves, others and life in general. One distinction that is crucial for our well being is realizing how and from where much of our stress is primarily generated. While some of the stressors that we face are apart of what it is to be a human being, much of the stress that we experience is of our own creation. A great deal of the stress that we experience has its origin in our own personal story and the meaning we make about life, in the thoughts that we think. Once we understand that we are truly the cause in the matter, that we are responsible for the thoughts that we create or invent and that it is from these thoughts that much of our stress is generated, then and only then will we begin to be able to truly manage our stress and have the power to live the life that we want and love. Blaming others or situations for that which we experience will only limit our power, lead to frustration and eventually a great deal of stress.

Becoming present to the fact that we have a tendency to constantly evaluate, judge and even blame others, and especially ourselves, is very important. How we conceive of others and ourselves in this respect will make a huge difference in our experience of life. For example, for some much of their life is spent attempting to make others and themselves wrong, wrong for what they think and do, wrong for what we think and do. Once we make another wrong, especially ourselves, anger, anxiety, guilt, frustration and even sadness will eventually follow and with it a great deal of stress. A simple truth is that as human beings we are all doing the best that we can at any given moment. If we or others knew differently we would behave differently.

Another simple truth is that we are perfect, whole and complete just as we are. It is our story about ourselves that does not allow us to truly experience our own completeness. Making mistakes in life does not make us wrong or flawed in some way but only presents us with feedback and valuable opportunities for growth. Becoming present to how we make ourselves wrong, of how we put ourselves down, allows us an opening to realize that we are not what we do or think. Our true self is something much different. Becoming present to our attempts to make others and ourselves wrong in some manner will also create a cleaning for us to begin to think, feel and behave differently. Once we fully realize that we are perfect, whole and complete just as are, we will bring forth into our lives experiences that will truly empower us and others. It will be at this point that we will begin to authentically take care of ourselves. Taking care of ourselves in this respect will also involve taking care of our true self, of unconditionally loving ourselves completely. It is only when we truly love and accept ourselves, as we are, in the present moment that we will be able to do so with others. We always think, feel and behave towards others as we think, feel and act towards ourselves.

One manner in which we can practice being who we truly are is beginning to become aware of the thoughts and beliefs that exist within us including and especially those that are self-limiting. Meditation and other holistic, self-enhancement techniques of this nature allow us this ability and opportunity to watch, monitor and become present to our inner world, to the very thoughts that generate our life and experiences. Such a process will eventually allow us to truly understand that we are not our thoughts and beliefs, that we are something different from, that we are much more. Our thoughts are merely apart of the machinery of being human.

Once present to the thoughts and beliefs that quickly, if not instantly, move through our mind also allows us the opportunity to reframe from impulsively acting upon them and as a result to become free from their constraints and potential harm to us and others. Such a meditative process, especially as it applies to the thoughts and beliefs that we have about ourselves, is the key to truly taking care of yourself. Such awareness will eventually allow us to truly experience the fact that we are good enough, just as we are, one that deserves to have a wonderful and powerful life, that we truly are perfect, whole and complete. Once we fully understand this for ourselves it will allow us to get it about others, for those that we work with and for those in our lives that we love. The end result of such a meditative process is that much of the stress that we experience, especially that which we create, will simply not exist, allowing us to create or invent the life that we truly want and love and to live it powerfully.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., L.M.H.C.
http://www.enhancedhealing.com


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10 Ways to Manage Work Stress for Women

Women are more prone to workplace because of the many roles they play in life: as career woman, wife, mother, daughter, and friend. Women work way beyond the 9-5 shift, often having to rush home to cook dinner, help the kids with homework, and prepare the next day’s office attire for the hubby. The stress and anxiety caused by endless tasks and impossible deadlines in a high-speed, high-tech world has made women’s lives a living web of complexity.

The question is: How can women cope with stress and anxiety? The first step is to dissect the problem and understand how these psychological and emotional conditions make women’s lives more difficult.

Stress is a combination of fatigue, restlessness, depression, over-focusing, and over-all gloominess that is a consequence of overwork and other domestic or personal problems. The difficulty of trying to balance time between work and the home has caused many women to suffer from stress. Personal or relationship issues like divorce or separation have also been the cause of anxiety panic attacks among women. Women who own and manage their own business are also prone to stress. Their high drive for business success cannot always protect them from times of depression and overwork. Career women, on the other hand, have to confront office politics, gender discrimination, sexual harassment, and the fear of being laid-off.

But there’s still hope for over-worked, stressed women. Here are some practical ways for women to reduce and manage work-related stress:

1. Put up relaxing scenes- It could be a poster or a small painting with beautiful scenery. You can even download screen savers of beaches, waterfalls, clear lakes and other scenes that help create a serene mood.

2. The To-Do-List- Use that Post-Its or other stick-on note pads. Color-code your notes and even put up an “alarm” in your computer to remind you of priority tasks. The key is to know what to do first.

3. Time out - As they say, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Take some time out to take a breather. Do way from reading emails the mostly junk. Do stimulating activities like sudoku or brainteaser. Reading some inspirational books like Chicken Soup for the Soul.

4. Rearrange your workstation - Add some “homey” look to your workstation… put up photo frames of your family or favorite pet. When ever you feel stressed out just glance at their happy faces or cuteness —and you’ll find yourself smiling back!

5. When a plant isn’t just a plant - Having a plant around your workplace is good stress relief. Studies show that looking at something green like a plant helps soothe your eyes after facing the computer monitor all day or after reading for a long time. Focusing on a green plant will have a soothing effect.

6. Exercise - Walking, climbing the stairs, or going out to run helps fight stress. Physical activity help get rid of tension. During a workout, your body releases endorphins which helps your body to relax. Endorphins also act as natural pain killers. There are a lot of exercise videos that you can use ranging from the standard aerobics to pilates, tae-bo, and a host of other fitness programs.

7. De-clutter- A cluttered workstation like pens,pencils, notepads,tons of papers spread around every inch of your work place adds to your stress. Make your work environment more appealing by organizing your things and throwing away things you no longer need.

8. Set Boundaries- Communicate and assert yourself, make your co-workers know when you are more available for chit chat.

9. Go less in your caffeine intake- caffeine even is popularly known as a stimulant, too much of it adds to stress even leads to depression.

10. Eat a good breakfast- Don’ skip meals even if you are indeed in a hurry. Studies shows that if you make it a practice to eat breakfast every day, you’re body gets more the needed proteins to give you an energy boost to face the working day.

Beat work-related stress without beating yourself up. Learn how to relax. Sure…we have duties and responsibilities but if you don’t learn to relax—burn out is what you get! Make an effort to relax. Listen to good music. Try not to smoke. Because if you don’t watch out, the results would be hypertension…depression… and a plethora of other ailments that can sidetrack your career and home life. It’s time to regain a sense of balance if you want to stay alive for a long, long, long time.




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